Circa-1950s Love And Dating Outdated, Or Is It?

A collection of 16-mm, well-intentioned educational films about courtship, love and relationships from the 1950s and 1960s are largely what one would expect: poorly acted, antiquated and chauvinistic.

Sort of.

Among the many outdated themes—“good people” abstaining from sex before marriage, and women belonging solely in the kitchen—are some that still hold weight today, according to Skip Elsheimer, a North Carolina-based film collector who will screen three shorts from this bygone era—including “How Do I Know It’s Love?” “Are You Ready for Marriage?” and “Who’s Boss?”—on Friday night at the Parrish Art Museum in Water Mill.

“Yes, they’re corny and outdated, but there’s truth there,” Mr. Elsheimer said last week during a phone interview from his Raleigh home. “The assumption is that we didn’t know anything back then, but we did. And there were a lot of smart people thinking about this. So to see them get it right is kind of a shock.”

With a plethora of modern online dating options, such as Tinder, OKCupid and PlentyOfFish, the notion of dating multiple people in the hopes of finding “the one” isn’t a far cry from what was encouraged in the 1950s and 1960s, Mr. Elsheimer said, minus the thousands of singles at anyone’s fingertips.

“What they’re talking about, the idea is, essentially, don’t settle,” he said. “Don’t go settle with one person, because you’ll get serious too quickly. Instead, date a bunch of people. That doesn’t mean having sex with all these people, but see who you fit with.”

Many of the films also emphasize the role of women at home and their importance of providing love and support as the matriarch in a family, Mr. Elsheimer said. And although many women have progressed away from that stereotype today, the films accurately portrayed the importance of that role in a family unit, he said.

“When I say family structure, it doesn’t necessarily mean a traditional family of a man and a woman,” Mr. Elsheimer said. “It could be two men or two women. But the point is, that role of someone taking care of the family—which was, at the time, generally filled by women—is gone.”

These three films are “artifacts of our culture,” Mr. Elsheimer said, and he found them completely by accident.

It was the mid-1990s, and he had just graduated from North Carolina State University. On a whim, he bought himself a 16-mm film projector and 500 films for $50 at an auction he attended with his college buddies.

“Something clicked in my head, and I was, like, ‘Wow, this is amazing,’” he said. “They [were] from the State Department, from human resources, and talk about alcohol, drugs, driving under the influence, pregnancy … this amazing variety of films about public health and safety.”

Today considered one of the most renowned film collectors in the country, Mr. Elsheimer regularly screens films nationwide from his treasure trove of more than 24,000 titles. His company name, “A/V Geeks,” is derived from the disparaging term used in the 1970s for the student assigned to run the 16-mm classroom projector.

The films that Mr. Elsheimer will screen at the Parrish were made post-World War II, when the divorce rate “skyrocketed,” he said, and downtrodden lovers needed a pick-me-up—and advice.

“Of course, it’s nothing compared to now, but at the time it was really significant,” he said of the divorce rate. “All of these people had gotten married during the war, either while in high school or immediately after, and the films were designed to basically say, ‘Look, you need to figure love out before you decide to get married.’

“All of these films don’t necessarily answer the questions they pose,” he continued. “The idea is you watch and decide, which is what we [the audience] will do after the screening. We’ll have a discussion about it.”

A/V Geeks will present “Love Is ...?” a collection of three 16-mm films about love and relationships in the 1950s and 1960s, on Friday, February 13, at 6 p.m. at the Parrish Art Museum in Water Mill. Admission is $10, or free for members, children and students. For more information, call 283-2118, or visit parrishart.org.