Traditional New England Barn Dance For Young And Old In Water Mill

On a snowy winter night, one’s inclination might be to curl up with a warm fuzzy throw blanket and assume a position on the family sofa. However, for some, despite a flurry or two in the forecast, it’s the call of bluegrass music and an evening of contra dancing that beckons.

Beneath the high beam ceiling of the Water Mill Community Club, more than three dozen people gathered together last Saturday for an old-fashioned dance. Singles and couples, young and old were in attendance at the club’s traditional New England Barn Dance, sponsored by the Long Island Traditional Music Association.

Barn dancing has been around for hundreds of years, and depending on where one chooses to kick up his or her heels, the name may change—on this side of the Mason-Dixon Line, “barn dance” is an acceptable term, but many prefer the descriptor “English country dance.”

But for guests at the dance in Water Mill last Saturday night, it was plain and simple contra dancing: star-turns, do-si-dos, sashays, promenades and more were set to tunes provided by Shelter Island-based bluegrass band Dunegrass.

The formula for a successful contra dance is a simple one. Combine an experienced caller with a talented band, add a few dancing skirts, a pinch of humor and a dash of self-confidence and nearly anyone can participate—two left feet or not. Before each dance, guests are invited to join a 15-minute instructional course, so even the least familiar dancer will have opportunity to prepare.

Southampton resident and longtime dance caller Dick Haile, who has been calling dances since 1961 and contra dancing at least three times a week for the last 20 years with his wife Elizabeth, emphasizes the welcoming attitude he and other regulars continually extend to “rookie” contra dancers.

“It’s all recreation. It’s a fun activity that anyone can do. If you don’t know what you’re doing, well it doesn’t matter,” he said, “That’s what the caller is there for ... To guide everyone through the maneuvers.”

Though experience isn’t required, it helps if dancers have rhythm. And that is where Dunegrass comes in.

“The role of a good band is to provide good steady music behind the caller and more importantly to provide a pace of music that the dancers are really comfortable with,” said Tom Hashagen, mandolin and guitar player for Dunegrass.

Indeed, for some revelers it’s that “good steady” music alone which brings them out for a night of fun. Sag Harbor resident Bill Buford explained his reason for attending.

“I love the music. During the wintertime, there are few places to hear really great bluegrass,” he said. “Also, it’s an excellent place to have some fun and meet other people in the community.”

Dances, which are held once a month, last about two hours, so folk and bluegrass aficionados will hopefully have their musical appetites sated. But another largely unifying factor that comes into play for most participants is the chance to experience an authentic sense of community.

“This sort of activity really epitomizes the true spirit of community. People of all ages and all walks of life can come together for a few hours of no pressure, easy-going dancing,” said Water Mill Community Club Event Organizer Karin Strong, “It’s a great way to alleviate your woes and prime yourself for the weekend. After all, for hundreds of years, this was the way neighbors got together to socialize.”

Even local celebrity WPPB 88.3 radio host Bonnie Grice turned out for last weekend’s barn dance. After an invite from Ms. Strong, Ms. Grice decided to give contra dancing a whirl.

“It’s something I had always wanted to do and I had done it a few times in the past. I’ve found that everyone here is so welcoming and has such a huge heart. What better way to warm up on a cold winter night?” Ms. Grice said.

Without any social lubricants like alcohol or overt distractions like sports games blaring on a big screen television, the club’s dances serve as a genuine means of interaction for people of all ages. And in an age of predominantly nameless, faceless technology and fewer scenarios for a diverse cross-section of people to come together and socialize, the experience of attending a barn dance is rather intimate.

“By the time you’ve left a dance, even if you didn’t know a single person to start, you will have danced with every person in attendance at least once,” Ms. Strong said. “There are very few other functions where people really have an opportunity to meet so many of their neighbors like that.”

For some, love has been found amid a star turn or two. But there’s a deeper connection to others, whether it be romantic or platonic, that dancers such as East Ender Hilary Woodward find so alluring.

Ms. Woodward, who has been going to dances with her husband, Eric, for several years and assisting the Water Mill Community Club with sponsorship for its dances, said she enjoys the unique experience contra dancing offers.

“For a lot of people, a barn dance is a way to encounter someone in a very real way. It’s a human connection. You turn your body to face someone, you reach out a hand and you look into each other’s eyes preparing to move together in time; it’s an experience that spans all generations,” she said.

Sponsored by the Long Island Traditional Music Association, the next dance will be held Saturday, February 5, at 8 p.m. at the Water Mill Community Club on Montauk Highway. Beginners are welcome to join a brief dance tutorial at 7:45 p.m. The band Dance All Night will perform. Tickets are $14, $10 for members or $7 for students. For additional information, call 725-3103 or visit litma.org.