A Home Haircuts How To From The Professionals

The average man gets his hair cut every four to six weeks. In New York State, barber shops have been shuttered for 10 weeks as of this weekend, so even those who fortuitously made a stop for a chop in the shop just before the shut-downs, are getting a little shaggy. The “monkey fur is getting long,” as one veteran barber called the tufts of unruly hair that must be growing on the necks of some of his regulars.

The internet has gradually built up a catalog of videos chronicling humorous, and often botched, attempts at do-it-yourself haircuts.

With the closures of barber shops looking like it might extend for another couple weeks or more, The Press has enlisted the father-son barbering team of Nick “The Clip” and Vincent “Vinnie The Barber” Mazzeo, of Vinnie & Nick’s Barber Shop in Amagansett to share some tips for amateur hair cutting, for those who can’t hold out any longer.

If a spouse or exceptionally trusted offspring is willing to make a go of it, and the subject is willing to lay his faith in their trembling hands, the Mazzeos think they can be guides to a respectable outcome.

And if the final product is a little eyebrow-raising, they’ll be waiting with smiles and maybe a Polaroid to fix it when things get back on track. It is probably telling that the Mazzeos are not concerned they are going to lose any future business by sharing this advice.

The first step, like with so many things, is to assess your subject — get the lay of the land, if you will.

Any advice is probably lost on anyone whose male family members wear their hair cropped close to the head. They have probably long owned a pair of electric clippers (or maybe a Flobee?) and are seasoned in giving themselves touch-ups when an emergency arises that doesn’t allow for a trip to a shop.

So what we’re looking at, then, is a subject with longer hair. Is it thick and tightly curled, wavy and lush, or thin and limp? Thick, curly hair will be the easiest to shape up nicely enough. The finer and limp the hair, the more difficult the process is going to be, Nick Mazzeo warns, and therefore the more slow you need to proceed.

“Go slow, lightly,” he says. “Fine hair is going to show the lines, so be gentle. Curlier hair you can get into a little bit more and it will bounce back. It’s much more forgiving of little mistakes.”

The tools of the barber’s trade are familiar to anyone. Most homes have a pair of drug store hair scissors in a drawer somewhere. They are not going to cut hair with the efficiency and precision of chemically-sharpened professional barbers’ shears, but they will do the job if you proceed deliberately, the Mazzeos say.

Vinnie Mazzeo is quick to raise alarm about scissors being wielded by an amateur around ear and eye level. For anyone with but the most steady of hands and meticulous of natures, he suggests that a smart option might be to pick up a pair of cheap electric hair clippers also, which can be had for about the cost of a normal trip to the barber shop at K-Mart or a chain drug store, for use on the sides and back of the head where appendages are in the line of fire. You will still need the scissors for the more delicate precision of the longer hair at the top of the head but clippers will make the sides and back easier and safer to get even.

And a comb. Whatever cutting tools you are using, you will need a simple thin, straight comb.

So, your weapons are at the ready and your subject is before you. You will recall that barbers always stand behind their victim. And that’s where you start: at the back.

“You start at the back and at the bottom — the bottom corner — that is where it all comes together,” Nick says. “You work your way around the back, up and around the ears to the sideburns first. Then back to the side you started on. Then you deal with the top.”

Proceed slowly and deliberately, cutting off very small amounts of hair at a time, Nick says. You can always go back and cut more and after the first pass you’ll be better able to gauge your cuts.

If you have clippers, Vinnie says, you will want to take advantage of the plastic guards that come with it. Start with the highest numbered guard, usually 4, which will take off the least amount of hair.

You will want to start it against the scalp but — and this is key, unless you want an old-fashion buzz cut — as you move upwards, pull the clipper out away from head in an upward sweeping motion. That will prevent you from shoring away all the hair and will let you blend in the gradually longer hair as you move upward.

“You go up and away from the head — if you go straight up and in toward the head you will take all the hair off,” Vinnie says. “Up and away. That will leave the hair above longer.”

Repeat this motion — up and away — all the way around the back and sides, working in level rows from the back to the sides.

If you are using only scissors — again, the most important step is to always be hyper-aware of where the points of the scissors are — you will need to use the comb and your hand to regulate how much hair is removed. This is something that will come into play for those starting with clippers also when you get to the top of the head.

Nick Mazzeo says to anchor the heel of your hand (the pinkie side of your palm) against the scalp, use the comb to pull up a lock of hair, and grasp it between the back/top of your index and the palm side of your middle finger, holding both rigidly flat. That is your level, Vinnie Mazzeo says, run the scissor along it. Cut off short amounts at first, a half-inch or so.

When you take up the next clump, lift some of the hair you just cut also.

“When you take your next portion, you pull it all up together so you have overlap, some short and some long,” Nick says. “You pull the short hair you just cut right to the top of your fingers and then cut the next portion to that. That way you make sure its the same length.”

If you are doing the sides with scissors — ears! — Nick says make small cuts, watching how the hair falls so that you get an even fade toward the top.

Now comes the tricky part.

Anyone not getting a buzz cut will want the hair on top longer than on the sides. The old cliche of a “bowl cut” affected by placing a bowl over the person’s head and cutting that which isn’t covered is one from a real world efficiency — function over form.

The trick is getting the longer part to blend into the shorter.

Now, you are probably best off working with the scissors. Continue the process of lifting a portion of hair with the comb, grasping it between your fingers and cut off slightly smaller chunks that you did on the side.

Be especially careful not to take off much at the very crown of the head, where straight hair swirls together from the sides into the common “cowlick.”

“If you cut that too short, it will stick up, so cut very small amounts there,” Nick Mazzeo said.

After a few cuts to the top, Nick says, let if fall and comb it back to see how the hair you’ve cut is aligning with the shorter hair on the sides and gauge whether more needs to come off for a smoother blend.

You can wet the hair at the top a little to make it easier to comb together evenly.

For curly hair, let the front dry before cutting the very front so that it sits naturally. For straighter, limper hair with bangs, a steady hand is called for. Comb them flat against the forehead and carefully — eyes! — slip one top of the open scissors between the hair and the forehead to snip off the tips. Again, very small cuts, comb into a natural shape and reassesses the need for removing more.

The final step is the one that in the end will give your subject the cleaned-up look of having gotten a haircut, almost regardless of what you have done above. If the neck is clean and even, a week of growth will smudge out other errors.

Trimming the neck line, if you have clippers, is a two-step process. If you were making small cuts before to ensure not over-doing it, now you will make teeny-weeny, tiny cuts in getting a straight edge along the neck line — lest you wind up in a repeating cycle of corrections that will climb ever upward.

“You do not want to go too high on the neck,” Nick says. “If it’s uneven and you have to fix it, a little bit at a time, then a little more, you only want to even it out.”

Lastly, a regular shaving razor will clean up the final remnants of monkey fur curling up from the collar line.

“Be sure to go down, not up,” Nick warns. “Start at the bottom of the hair line and shave down.”

When the moment of truth comes and the mirror comes out, remind the subject that the Mazzeos and their counterparts will be back in business soon — mid-June by their best estimation.

“We know, the monkey fur is getting long, it’s all we hear people talking about — ‘When are you opening up?’” said Vinnie Mazzeo, who turned 70 recently, noting that he and his son are already working out how to deal with the crowds and social separation of what are sure to belong waiting lines in the first weeks back. “There will be some disasters out thee. We’ll be ready for them. I’m ready to go back to work.”