Arlene Schroeder Of Hampton Bays Dies February 28

Arlene Schroeder of Hampton Bays and formerly of Southampton died on February 28 at her home. She was 71.

Ms. Schroeder grew up in Hicksville, but spent many weekend and summer days of her childhood visiting her Aunt Marie and Uncle Howard Stock in their home on Edgemere Drive in Southampton. The house, which boasted an incredible view and sunset, overlooked Little Peconic Bay. She loved the beach where she would spend most of her visits, her family said.

Ms. Schroeder worked as a New York State Service Coordinator for people with developmental disabilities for 27 years after graduating Wagner College in Staten Island with a nursing degree.

At age 45, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a condition of the central nervous system, which eventually forced her to retire.

When her aunt and uncle died, she took residence in the home she loved so much and knowing the challenges of disability, she decided she would share her good fortune with others with disabilities. She set out to make the home accessible in every way to fulfill her dream of a Bed and Breakfast as a retreat for people with disabilities. The “Edgemere Inn” was a project she worked at and did have guests visit from time to time.

Friend of more than 50 years Pamela Quinn remembers Ms. Schroeder as a caregiver. “Arlene spent many years providing support to people who had life challenges and then faced her own physical disabilities with courage, intelligence and perseverance,” she said.

Eventually, she became weaker and started using a walker, and then a wheelchair, but never stopped managing her life with the help of aides. She took care of all the details of her home and life as she advocated for the disabled community by holding positions on the Town of Southampton Disability Advisory Committee and The Affirmative Action Task Force. She was also a member of the Kiwanis Club.

Now that she had a disability herself, she worked to make the town accessible for people with challenges and would take note and report locations that were not up to code.

“My friend Arlene was a delight to be with,” said friend Marcia VanDyne. “I may have gone to visit with the idea of cheering her up, but the opposite frequently happened. She would give me some of her pearls of wisdom, love and companionship. I always left her feeling uplifted and loved.”

Being a progressive disease, multiple sclerosis took its toll on her body and when it became necessary to have around-the-clock help, Ms. Schroeder was forced to move to a smaller house in Hampton Bays, where she lived until her death.

“When I think of Arlene Schroeder, the words ‘Renaissance Woman’ come to mind,” said friend Angela Melledy. “She never let anything stop her from doing. She had an eclectic array of knowledge, likes and ambitions and was always fashionable and an elegant hostess.”

In her younger days, she owned a horse she named Kismet and was proud that she had gotten her pilot’s license. An outgoing woman, Ms. Schroeder had many friends she would welcome to enjoy her home for dinner parties and visits and would keep in touch by telephone.

She is survived by her grandson Andrew Groeschke. Ms. Schroeder was predeceased by her parents, Francis H. Schroeder and Winiferd R. Wank; and her son Andrew Soboleski. She also leaves behind her beloved dog Hazel.

A memorial service is being planned and will be announced at a later date.