Former Southampton resident Mary McBurney Gaynor dies at 90

Former Southamp­ton resident Mary McBurney Gaynor of Essex, Connecticut, died on November 10 at her home. She was 90.

Born in Boston on October 19, 1919, she was the daughter of Jesse Holladay Philbin and Elizabeth Parker Philbin. A lifelong lover of the seacoast, marshes, beaches, and water birds, she spent her childhood in Cedarhurst. She graduated from Chatham Hall School in Virginia, where, according to family members, she claimed her most interesting pursuit by far was riding horses around the countryside.

In 1938, she entered the Boston Museum School. While both her grandmother and mother had been watercolorists, she soon discovered a passion for life drawing and figurative sculpture. Her studies were interrupted when World War II broke out: She married Watson Bradley Dickerman, who enlisted in the U.S. Navy, and she became a volunteer for the Red Cross in Washington, D.C.

After the war, the couple settled in New York City and she resumed her art studies at Columbia University, balancing this endeavor with the numerous social requirements of her husband’s career in banking, and the management of a household of four young children who had two doting, occasionally opinionated, single grandmothers in very close proximity.

At her insistence, the family moved out to Glen Cove in 1952. There she became a trustee at the Greenvale School and an active volunteer at a community settlement house in Glen Cove. Her love of bird-watching grew and she was finally able to indulge her love for animals, owning goats, dogs, and a horse. She also enjoyed a wealth of opportunities to participate in sports. Survivors recalled that she always told her children that if they could play golf and tennis and bridge and could ride and shoot and type, they could get along anywhere.

After Mr. Dickerman’s death in 1955, she married Doctor William C. T. Gaynor in 1957 and moved to Southampton. The following year Dr. Gaynor, who had five children, and Mrs. Gaynor, had a daughter together, for a total of 10 children in their family.

In Southampton, Mrs. Gaynor started a volunteer service at Southampton Hospital, where Dr. Gaynor served as chief of surgery. She did not find time to get back to her art until he retired in 1982 and they began a new life in Montego Bay, Jamaica.

Dr. Gaynor continued to practice medicine in Jamaica, and Mrs. Gaynor cultivated the skills as a hostess and resourceful entertainer that she would continue to draw on for the rest of her life. Their cottages in Jamaica also provided an exotic haven for visiting grandchildren. Among the couple’s many interesting Jamaican friends was a rug artist who taught Mrs. Gaynor the bargello stitch. Over the next 25 years, she designed and made at least 30 original rugs. Although many were sold, many remain in the family.

In 1989 Mr. and Mrs. Gaynor moved to Boca Grand, Florida where they lived until Mr. Gaynor’s death in 1999. Mrs. Gaynor then moved to Essex, Connecticut.

Described by survivors as slim and stylish, in boys’ camouflage jeans, vivid cashmere sweaters and snappy shoes, even in her ninth decade she was admired for her fine appearance, for her extraordinary generosity to people and causes she cared about, and for her straight talk.

She is survived by four daughters, Mary McBurney Swann of Maryland, Laine Gifford and Holly Dickerman, both of Massachusetts, and Katherine Marine of Arizona; 10 grandchildren; 11 great-grandchildren; a nephew; and several grand- and great-grandnieces and nephews.

She is also survived by three stepsons and many step-grandchildren and step-great-granchildren. Her only son, Watson Bradley Dickerman Jr., predeceased her.

A memorial service will be held on Monday, November 23, at 11 a.m., at Saint John’s Episcopal Church, Main Street, Essex, Connecticut. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations to Audubon Connecticut, 613 Riverdille Road, Greenwich, CT 06831 would be appreciated by the family.