Frances Kijowski of East Quogue Dies December 21

Frances Kijowski, formerly of East Quogue, died on December 21 at Massachusetts Lowell General Hospital, where she was treated for heart conditions. She was surrounded by her adoring family. She was 96.

She lived the majority of her life in East Quogue, where she was born, the only child to Mike and Julia Stokojlo, immigrants from Ukraine in the 1920s.

She was an indomitable force of nature, according to her family. She was totally devoted to her “girls” — Julie, Katherine, Mary, and Frances. She always wanted the best for them and insisted, perhaps demanded, they stay close because, after all, for her, family was everything.

She loved her granddaughter, Christina, Katherine’s daughter. She was so proud to watch her grow up to become professionally a successful consultant with her own business and a source of great support to her mother and father. Frances’s sons-in-law, Fred Tirrell, Chris Kazanas, and Jim Finlay, had tremendous respect for her and deeply appreciated her total devotion to them (and her cooking)!

She was married to her great love, Paul, for 64 years. They worked side-by-side every day, many years operating the family farm on Lewis Road in East Quogue and then they had a successful decorating business that she started with a dear neighbor, Reata Steiger, and for many years worked with her best and talented friend, Mary Markowsky, from Speonk.

Working with the incomparable interior decorator Marcia Fox-Martin, in Quogue, was a great joy for both Frances and Paul, who often puzzled and had fun tackling the most difficult and challenging jobs.

She loved to bake and cook, which prompted her daughter, Mary, to write a cookbook in her honor, titled “Anybody Getting Hungry?” It was a huge success because it captured many traditional Ukrainian dishes and her favorite dishes with her special twists and ingredients. No one made better perogies, her family said. Try as she did to instruct her daughters in the fine art of making perogies, all agreed none came close to hers.

She loved her church, St. John the Baptist Ukrainian Catholic Church in Riverhead, the church her mother and father helped to start in 1924. She was very fond of its pastor, Father Bohdan Hedz, for his spiritual leadership, and a welcoming enthusiastic personality that has brought more and more parishioners to the church. She especially enjoyed working the church’s annual chicken barbecue, where she was responsible for making gallons upon gallons of barbecue sauce for the chicken. She, reluctantly, but with great pride, turned over the “secret recipe” to Father Bohdan just a few years ago. Her daughters would not miss working the chicken barbecue in her honor. She was looking forward to attending the church’s 100th anniversary this coming year.

In her last years, she could not live in her beloved home in East Quogue because of failing health. Yet, she loved living with her daughter, Frannie, who she called “her baby,” in Frannie’s townhouse in Tyngsboro, Massachusetts, where she quickly settled in and made friends with her neighbors. She especially loved Frannie’s best friend, Janice Costa, who she taught to play pinochle. They were always partners in the game, both sharing a deep competitive spirit. The pinochle games always reminded her of the many fun-filled times she and her husband had with their best friends, John and Mary Markowsky, and Bill and Jenny Fedun. They would take short trips to various places (Upstate New York, Washington, D.C., Cooperstown) always toting the red Naugahyde draw string bags that Paul had made to hold their pennies for poker. These red bags are treasured today by their children. They harken back to happier times.

Upon her visits home in East Quogue, she was always eager to see “the boys,” often coming with gifts of gallons of maple syrup from New Hampshire. They would each pop in to see her to keep her current on all that was happening while she was away. She looked forward to these visits because they shared a strong bond rooted in place and family.

Edmund Densieski was the “best farmer,” and she loved buying vegetables at his popular farm stand. They would talk crops and markets, bringing her back to her life with her husband and reliving their farming days. Such Kuroski’s exuberant and loving nature brought laughter and stories that made her laugh. Such made sure her lawns and shrubs were tended to. She was deeply appreciative. Randy Kracke brought back memories of her close friendship with the neighboring Kracke family, whose father died way too young, and his uncle, John, who Frances was very close to since the time he was a tot. And she enjoyed her many visits with Paul’s niece, Donna Kijowski, who having lost her parents at a very young age, looked to “Uncle Paul and Aunt Frances” for encouragement and wisdom.

She came to depend on Pete Lehman — her “boots on the ground.” Many years ago, he was hired to do various home improvements. It didn’t take long before she trusted him with many tasks and enjoyed his companionship and visits. He never failed to call her nearly every day to check in on her and see if there was anything she needed that either he or his kind and generous wife, Linda, could do for her.

She had a special place in her heart for Maggie and her daughter Nellie, her “adopted granddaughter.” Nellie called Frances ‘Grandma Orange’ because when Nellie was a shy little girl, she loved hanging out with Paul and he would tease her about how she pronounced the word orange. This became a common back and forth whenever they got together to the point, he became Grandpa Orange and Frances Grandma Orange.

In many ways, she had a hard life caring for ailing parents, raising four hooligans and making sure she could support them in pursing college educations, withstanding the many economic ups and downs in farming, losing her husband and many friends. Without question, it was a full and rich life that included travel and new adventures and most importantly, her family said, the love she had for her family and the love she had in return from her devoted family.

Services were held at McLaughlin & Heppner Funeral Home in Riverhead on January 2, and a funeral Mass was celebrated on January 3 at St. John the Baptist Ukrainian Catholic Church. Interment followed at Oakwood Cemetery in East Quogue.

In lieu of flowers, donations made in her honor to the St. John the Baptist Ukrainian Catholic Church, 820 Pond View Road, Riverhead, N.Y. 11901, would be appreciated by the family.