She Always Held Home in Her Heart

“If you go anywhere, even paradise, you will miss your home.”

— Malala Yousafzai

I’m not sure how it happens, but there are some people whom everyone knows and who know just about everyone. They are the folks who garner their energy from people, and places, and mingling at community gatherings. They are the people who invest in life and gather and store experiences and memories and adventures.

Bonnie Lowe Wingate Jackson is one of those people, a familiar face and a smile that is part of the Sag Harbor landscape. Born and raised in Sag Harbor and remaining resilient through the many twists and turns in life, Bonnie always dreamed of returning to her hometown. For many years, she held the vision of her childhood in her heart.

The heart can hold many loves, but perhaps the one that keeps us grounded is the love of home. Bonnie has steered a course that, after 40 years, has led her back home.

“It was the love of Sag Harbor that stayed with me,” she said. “I felt a need to return home — after raising three beautiful children, I felt it was my turn to have an adventure, and they agreed.

“I’ve always felt a sense of community, purpose and familiarity here. We are losing the generation of individuals who knew me during my growing-up years, but 10 years ago they were still active members of this community. By coming ‘home’ I was able to spend time with them. I treasure that time and those who are still touching my life as I embrace every aspect possible of living here in my hometown.”

In 1931, Bonnie’s grandfather Captain Russell Lowe moved his family from Nova Scotia to Long Island to find work during the Depression. He wanted a place that reminded him of his fishing village in Canada, and eventually he found his way to Sag Harbor, buying a home on John Street and raising his family there.

He raced sailing yachts for Mr. Schaefer, who owned the Schaefer Brewing Company. One of his four children was Rhoda Lowe, who was Bonnie’s mother. She raised Bonnie here in Sag Harbor and returned to Nova Scotia after Bonnie graduated from Pierson High School.

After graduation, Bonnie made the trip to Canada as well. Soon realizing that there was no work for her there, the thought of military enlistment crossed her mind.

“My grandfather gave me $50 to return to Sag Harbor on my own to discover opportunities.” Once here, she rented a room from Mrs. Browngardt on Palmer Terrace and worked at Eddie’s Luncheonette on Main Street. “I worked the counter. Never having done that before, I formed a new appreciation for the energy level it takes to do that job. I remember Chief Harrington stopping in for his morning 10-cent cup of coffee and leaving me a 50-cent tip. His act of generosity way back then has influenced the way I tip today.”

Bonnie holds on to many wonderful memories of growing up in a safe and beautiful Sag Harbor, “selling handmade potholders door to door and in front of the museum, warming my clothes in front of the oven on cold mornings, being aware that my mom’s friends were keeping their eye on me, fishing off the bridge with random people I would meet, playing hopscotch, kickball, catch, red rover, tag, back when John Street was a sleepy little neighborhood, riding my bike absolutely everywhere … my mom never knew where I was, but our village sure did!

“Telling me not to dilly-dally, my mom would send me down street to the post office to check the mail. She said to come right home, and no hanging out. Needless to say, I quickly stopped in every store I was interested in before riding my bike straight home.

“We knew everyone in every store in those days. The Bakery was my favorite. Mrs. Browngardt, our bakery lady, knew me well. When I returned to live in the Harbor in 2012, I lived right smack in the middle of the village. I thought back about what my mom would say to me: ‘Don’t hang out on Main Street!’ If she were still with us, I know that she would actually be happy that I returned to hang out on Main Street. She would have turned 100 in June this year. Time moves on …”

After returning from Nova Scotia, Bonnie was concerned about her future and visited the U.S. Navy recruiting office in Riverhead. After passing the physical and written test, Bonnie enlisted in the Navy and was sent to bootcamp in Bainbridge, Maryland.

“I wondered what I was getting myself into,” she recalled. “There were so many rules we had to conform to, and I remember thinking, I just want to be a kid. Marching to the mess hall on the first day, I remembered hearing the song ‘Lonely Girl’, which is exactly how I felt. I joined so that I could escape small-town life, which held limited opportunities for me, since I was financially not able to afford college. I was young, felt adventurous, liked meeting new people and felt a need to be a part of something important. Serving my country felt important.

“It was hard at first, but once I was sworn in and arrived at basic training in Bainbridge, I really had no choice but to make the best of it and to take one day at a time. To keep my connections with Sag Harbor, I started writing letters to friends and adults whose lives touched mine while growing up.

“The numerous letters I received back, while in boot camp, were such a boost to my morale. I looked so forward to mail call. Dolores Zebrowski, Vicki Gardiner, Mrs. Mary Simms, Anne Payne, Lovey Hedeman, Jane Van Kovics, Gert Ferrara, Ruby Remkus from the Potato House, family members, neighbor friends and school chums.

“The generation of people who watched me grow up meant the world to me. The whole experience was character building to say the least.”

Bonnie stayed in the Navy for four years working in administration at the Bureau of Naval Personnel in Arlington, Virginia. After leaving the Navy, Bonnie moved to Michigan, where she married and had three children: Rusty, Christopher and Becky. While raising her children, Bonnie studied to obtain a bachelor’s and master’s degrees in education. There she worked as a special education teacher for nearly 20 years. After her children grew to adulthood, Bonnie decided it was time to return back home.

“When I first came back, I felt like a kid again. I had a pride that I had grown up here, I thought, ‘Pinch me — this has to be a dream.’ I never ever thought I’d be able to come back.”

Since returning home, Bonnie has been an active member in the American Legion and Legion Auxiliary. She follows in her mother’s footsteps, as she sells poppies for the Memorial Day Parade each year. Bonnie, along with Tom Horn Sr. and Marty and Nina Trunzo, regularly sat outside of the firehouse on Main Street selling department merchandise to support the fireman’s museum on Church Street.

Bonnie is a member of the Whaling Museum, Historical Society and SOFO. She loves attending community events, library workshops and many other Sag Harbor happenings.

Bonnie finds happiness in helping others. Her house is a reflection of all of the people, places and things she loves. There is a sense of celebration there, seasonal items glowing with a warmth and appreciation for home: “Everything in my house connects me to the people and places I love. My home is the place I feel cozy and loved.”

And though she enjoys traveling the world, it is with certainty that Bonnie’s smile will continue to brighten Sag Harbor as she reminds us just how special it is to be home!