Fred Trump: What is it now?
Donald Trump: Don’t talk to me like that — I’m the president of the United States.
F: No you’re not, you’re the ex-president. And I’ll talk to you any way I want. I’m your father.
D: No you’re not, you’re my ex-father.
F: Meaning?
D: Meaning you’re dead.
F: (Pauses) Okay, not bad. Score one for Donny. So whaddaya want?
D. They tried to kill me again. On the golf course this time.
F: Well, they knew where to find you.
D: Second time this year. I’ll get mileage out of this.
F: Actually, I’m surprised someone hasn’t taken a shot at you before this year.
D: Thanks. So, did you watch it?
F: Watch what?
D: The debate, for God’s sake!
F: You mean with the Black woman — what’s her name? Yeah, I tuned in for a while.
D: So?
F: You don’t wanna know.
D: Yeah I do.
F: Dogs and cats? Really, Donny? What the hell? I don’t even know if your MAGA morons will buy that one.
D: Vance heard about it, more than once.
F: Vance, right. The Bearded Weirdo. He’s a train wreck — you should have picked Rubio, or Cruz.
D: Couldn’t trust those guys.
F: How many times have I told you, you can’t trust anyone? What about Burgum? Why not him?
D: An unknown from the middle of nowhere? Come on!
F: Kama-what’shername did fine with that. Coach Walz is selling big.
D: We’ll get him yet.
F: Don’t wait too long. And what’s with this nut Loomer woman? She’s killing you. You think she’s hot or something?
D: (Shrugs and smiles.)
F: You never learn.
D: Anyway, I say I won that debate.
F: Sure, say that, but we both know you got trashed. She slapped you down and ate you up.
D: No!
F: Yes! It’s the same as ever, same with the business, same with your wives, same with your court cases, you’re a los- …
D: No, Daddy, don’t use that word, please! Please don’t call me that!
F: Okay, I won’t, but you’re in deep dirt. A Black woman took you out, for God’s sake! We wouldn’t even rent to her back in the day!
D: So what do I do now?
F: I don’t know — your game, kid.
D: Right. Later, Daddy.
George Lynch
Quiogue
Lynch is communications chair for the Southampton Democratic Committee — Ed.